Beyond Motherhood

1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.
2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.
3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.
4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.
5. Yours is always the only child who doesn’t behave.
6. If the shoe fits…it’s expensive.
7. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.
8. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.
9. Backing the car out fo the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.
10. The more challenging the child, the more rewarding it is to be a parent…sometimes.

source from:  Parenting Humor

1. Your children know how to read HTML code but can’t operate a vacuum cleaner.
2. Your children tell you that you said “yes” and you don’t even remember the question.
3. You go to the grocery store and find yourself having a good time.
4. Your husband asks how your day went and you rate it on a scale of 1-10 repeats of “stop that!” or “no!”.
5. You can’t remember the last time you didn’t have to share your drink.
6. You mistakenly tell the kids it’s “sanity” time when you meant to say “bed” time.
7. The laundry seems to have taken on an evil nature and you begin to feel that it’s out to get you.
8. You dread hearing the phone ring because it’s a sure sign there’s about to be trouble amongst the children.
9. It’s finally your turn on the computer and “Touched by an Angel” is just coming on.
10. You go to sleep with “I’m bored” or “I’m hungry” still ringing in your ears.

 source**:  http://www.parenting-humor.com/humorjokes.html